I really can’t believe that tomorrow is Nick’s birthday. A year ago I couldn’t wait for Nick to make his arrival and now I wish I could slow down time. I’m shocked over how fast the year has been. The typical cliche is to have people tell you that time will fly by, and I did believe them, but it went even faster then I ever expected. Now here we are a year later and it’s amazing how much has changed.
By the time Nick was born I had felt as ready as I figured I could be, but I was still a little scared over the idea of having a baby to take care of. I really didn’t know what to do. I had no clue how to make a bottle, I had never before changed a diaper, and those were only the beginning of my insecurities. I’ll never forget how we had to ask the nurse at the hospital to show us how to swaddle Nick. With Jason and my mom I made it through the first few weeks, and other panic times. I really felt like a veteran mom the other day. We had been in the car for a really long time because there had been an accident on the highway, and when we were finally close to home Nick started loosing his patience. I knew there was a binkie on the top of the diaper bag which was on the floor right behind my seat. I was able to reach around on my left, get the binkie, and then reach around with my right hand and put it in Nick’s mouth. Now that’s mommy power at its best!
One thing that worried me with having a baby was trying to take care of myself, the house, everything else, and a baby too. Now that fear really has merit because it’s hard doing it all while keeping Nick happy. I wish I could be home every day during nap time because that’s when I’m able to get the most done. Still I have found things that can keep his attention so that I can do some stuff. Some days are better than others, and they have not been so great lately since he’s become bored with most of his toys, but doing things is possible. It’s just not easy. The worst part is the lack of sleep due to trying to get so much done after Nick goes to bed. I think the hardest part of being a mom is the lack of sleep. It’s amazing what you can get used to though.
The biggest, and best, difference is just that Nick is there. It still blows my mind that at the end of the day when I go home there will be a little one there waiting to give me a big smile and a hug. Even the worst days can be made better when you get a baby hug. In fact everything is made better when he’s around. I hate grocery shopping, but it’s not so bad when he’s there with me. When Nick was really little, and cried a lot, Jason would say how he didn’t mind the crying because it meant that Nick was there. Having him around really has made our lives so much richer.
This past year has been so wonderful. Our lives aren’t the same as they used to be, but that’s alright because now they’re so much better. It will be interesting to see how they change over the next many years.
